Struggles...

Everyday is a struggle for me...

There are so many things I want to say but have honestly not made the effort. I'm letting the darkness consume me and I feel as though I am slowly slipping away. I want to accomplish so many things and god knows I can. I have the support of my family and friends but am haunted by how drastically my life has changed since March. the holiday season is overrated but I have to make sure my children feel as though nothing has changed. I have a beautiful granddaughter to enjoy and all of the ideas I have to reinvent myself.

I believe there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and the sun will eventually shine upon us but I find it hard to believe that for me. I can't show weakness to my family they look to me for strength with their everyday life and the loss of my mom. When do I get shown some sympathy, strength or a shoulder to cry on, a day that is for me, just harmony.

What my ex husband did to me with my ex best friend is not something you forget quite easily. He blames me for the demise of our marriage and I truly feel guilt over it as well. The messages he sends me, blaming me for losing his family, his children. I'm just lost right now but I will find my way.

💪💫😑